The Insane Crossover Story Chapter Four
"Is it just me, or do these woods look terribly familiar?" Tabby asked Merry Treat
off-handedly as the group tromped through a forest of tall, foreboding-looking trees.
"Yeah, I don't think we're on that Naboo planet any more..." Merry Treat trailed
off, and suddenly halted.
"So interesting, how we can change planets without noticing anything different,"
Tabby pondered aimlessly.
"Do you suppose we're... lost?" Merry Treat gulped.
"What's that? Are evil movie kings attacking?" He-Man
"Oh, no, we're not being attacked," Tabby assured the group cheerfully.
Tess looked relieved at that statement, but huddled closer to Tarquin nonetheless.
"...we're just lost," Tabby continued in an equally cheerful voice.
"Lost!" Whimzee gasped.
"Meesa no be likin' this..." Jar Jar said slowly.
"Just consult my map of the universe I gave you," Orko instructed Tarquin.
"I already did," Tarquin sighed. "It doesn't say anything about woods anywhere
around Naboo. I don't know how we got here."
"Spear. Row," Spearow said nervously.
The whole group gathered around Tarquin's map, which he spread out on the
ground. Tabby scanned it over impatiently. "Where's Naboo? I can't even see that."
"It's right up there." Tarquin pointed towards the top of the map.
"Where? I still can't see it, Tarkie. I hate maps. You can't ever make any sense
out of them..."
"Unless..." Merry Treat murmured to herself.
"I just wish L.B. was here to cart me around," Tweeg mourned. "Oh, good
"I betcha we took a wrong turn and wound up in these creepy woods, which are
probably haunted by some--" Ursa Minor was abruptly cut off in mid-sentence.
"Oh, my stars!" Whimzee suddenly shrieked out in alarm. She had been pushed to
the edge of the group while they were consulting the map, and had brushed up right against some
bushes. "What is that?!" Quivering, she jumped behind Jar Jar for protection, as he happened to
be standing next to her.
"What's what?!" Merry Treat rushed to the aid of her startled friend.
"Th-th-that thing in the bushes!" Whimzee timidly peeked out from behind Jar Jar,
who looked very confused.
"Yousa bein' very skittish, methinks," was all he said.
"If anything dares make a sinister move towards you, I'll slash
them with my sword!" He-Man said solemnly, drawing his large sword from his
"Oh, brother! Not this again!" Tarquin groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Row," Spearow sighed along with his friend.
"What in the world are you guys muttering about?" Tabby pushed through the
bodies until she was next to Whimzee and Merry Treat. "So, what is it?"
"It looked like a... like a... big, yellow worm," Whimzee said, trembling, "with a
horn on its head. Oh, dear, and I'm sure it's still there!" She covered her eyes with her
Merry Treat pushed aside the leaves where Whimzee had been standing. This
reminded her of the time they had encountered Grubby the Octopede... she hoped the ending of
this incident would turn out the same, as well. The pony gasped in surprise when she saw what
was there. It was exactly what Whimzee had described... "It's a Weedle!" she exclaimed.
"Wassa Weedle?" Jar Jar asked suddenly in a curious tone.
"It's a kind of Pokèmon," Merry Treat explained, not moving from her position.
"And I think Ursa Minor was right in her theory. If we are where I think we are now, we'll be
seeing a lot of strange creatures, Whimzee."
"What do you mean?" Tabby threw Merry Treat a questioning look. "This can't
"It must be the Dark Forest," Merry Treat said affirmatively.
"But the Dark Forest... that's right next to Dream Valley," Tess said, confused.
"This must be a trick of the evil King Movie," He-Man
"No, it's not really a farfetched idea," Merry Treat murmured, walking back to the
map. "Yes, we were looking at it all wrong. I assumed we were going west. But we weren't--
we were going east, and then kind of looped downward. And so--" Merry Treat pointed to the
map. "--voila, there's the Dark Forest, and here we are in it."
" ‘Dream' Valley? And yet you've never had a good dream, Tabby?" Tweeg
" ‘Tis the sad truth," Tabby nodded. "Names can be deceiving, you know."
"I knew my map wouldn't fail us!" Orko said jubilantly.
"Anyway!" Tarquin positioned himself at a good spot to view the whole expanse
of the map. "We're pretty much positive we're in the Dark Forest-- and there's this path we've
been following-- and if it's the path that's shown on the map, it should lead us straight into Tea
Bunny Land if we keep following it," he declared, rolling the paper back up.
"Oh, that sounds like a delightful place!" Whimzee said, cheering up a bit. "I would
think Tea Bunnies would be hospitable. It doesn't seem like a place that would be in the Dark
"We've met up with the Tea Bunnies before!" Tabby exclaimed. "They are nice
little bunnies-- and as long as they serve any drinks besides tea, we should have a nice stop
"Yipee!" Ursa Minor cried out cheerfully. "Let's get going! I gotta see these Tea
Bunnies! Is tea all they eat?"
"They have delightfully wonderful donuts and cakes and such, too," Tabby said,
glancing cautiously at the baby bear.
"That's good, ‘cause I'm starving for something good to eat!" Ursa Minor shot
down the path, leaving the others far behind.
"Sheesa is goin' to get into trouble if weesa don't catch up to her," Jar Jar
"You're right," Whimzee sighed. "Come on, gang. To Tea Bunny Land we go!"
* * *
Sooner than they expected, the group arrived in Tea Bunny Land. They marveled
at all the quaint teacup-shaped shops, beautiful flower gardens, and the all-over pastel brilliance of
"Told ya it was a nice place," Tabby bragged.
"Where do we go for food? Where do we go for food?" Ursa Minor began
"Well... I've never actually been to Tea Bunny Land before," Tabby
confessed. "I only met two of the bunnies. But somebody in one of these places will know where
"I could go for a nice, big slice of chocolate cake myself right
now!" He-Man added.
Tabby trotted up to the nearest house-- a pretty pink place that appeared to be a hat
shop, according to the sign hung above the door. She knocked on the door, and it was quickly
opened to reveal a pastel pink bunny who blended in nicely with her shop. There were bight pink
roses on the tips of her ears, and she wore a dainty white dress patterned with pink flowers and an
ornate, creamy straw hat.
"We would like to be directed to the nearest bakery in
town!" He-Man boomed from behind Tabby.
The petite bunny surveyed all the creatures on her doorstep, and looked slightly
surprised. "Ah... yes... the bakery. You're new to these parts?"
"Yes, we're traveling, to seek revenge on somebody," Tabby confirmed. "We're
just stopping here to freshen up."
"Wonderful!" The bunny smiled. "We do love entertaining visitors so. You must
be from Dream Valley, of course. Where do the rest of you hail from?"
"Oh, all sorts of places," Merry Treat said quickly. "But first, who are you?"
"I am Rose Bonnet," the bunny introduced herself. "I own and run the Just Ears
Hat Shop here. However, the bakery is--"
"They don't make gold there, do they?" Tweeg asked cautiously (he didn't want
anyone else to discover the ancient recipe of making gold from buttermilk).
"Oh, no!" Rose Bonnet giggled. "The bakery is just two shops down the street
from here. And if you'd like to spend a night or so, there's the hotel over--"
Rose Bonnet was suddenly interrupted by a commotion outside. "My! What is that
noise?" she asked in fright.
Tabby and the rest of the gang whirled around. There, just parked in the middle of
the street of Tea Bunny Land, was a rather noisy and battered Desoto car with a black-and-white
paint job. Several other Tea Bunnies were peering out of their shops, wondering what was going
on. Everyone held their breath to see who would emerge from this unsightly vehicle.
First to leap out of the car was a brown, humanoid dog clad in a worn, gray suit
complete with a spiffy hat and a not-so-spiffy tie. Next to jump out was a furry white bunny
(wearing no clothes), walking upright, and with large teeth. They both struck a pose before the
"Well, here we are in Tea Bunny Land," the dog commented.
"The over-abundance of flowers here is shocking," the bunny agreed.
"That's because these are a simple people who have not yet realized the wonders of
modern civilization-- such as free market economy, senseless violence, and corn dogs," the
bunny's companion replied.
"Not to mention pollution and toxic waste," the bunny agreed. "Sam, tell me again
why we're here?"
"How soon you forget, little buddy. The inhabitants of this quaint little village are--
by some strange twist of fate-- your relatives, and we're here for a visit," said the dog.
"Oh, yeah, I do keep forgetting," the bunny commented.
While the two newcomers had been conversing, the Tea Bunnies and adventurers
had watched, their eyes opened wide, without saying a word. Tabby was the first to break the
silence. "Who in the world are you, and what in the world are you doing here?" she
"We're Sam and Max, freelance police," the dog clarified.
Before anyone could comment on that, a lavender Tea Bunny with purple-and-white
striped petunias on her ears rushed through the crowd and engulfed the bunny (now known
as Max) in a warm hug. "Why, it's little Max!" she exclaimed.
Max squirmed away from the purple bunny in distaste. "And just who would you
"Your mother's second cousin on your father's side fifth roommate was my niece's
hair stylist!" The bunny paused, smiling broadly. "But you can call me Aunt Petunia Petal."
Sam turned to his pal. "I always knew your Uncle Fred would do this to you,
Max," he commented.
"The plot thickens," Max said with relish.
"You must tell me all about what you're doing now, little Max," Petunia Petal
continued on. "You've grown so much! And who's this... dog that's with you?"
Tabby and Merry Treat were beginning to feel a bit awkward. "Eh, is this a bad
time to be stopping in Tea Bunny Land?" Tabby queried.
"If this is a family reunion, maybe we'd better be on our way," Merry Treat
"Oh, no, don't go on Max's behalf!" Rose Bonnet piped-up quickly. "We never
refuse hospitality to visitors."
"Plus, with no one around to view our mindless antics, they become that much
more pointless," Max agreed.
All of a sudden-- as if Sam and Max's arrival hadn't been sudden enough-- a pastel
blue Tea Bunny came running up, looking rather hysterical. "AHHHH!!!" she screamed, but
stopped when she noticed the presence of the Desoto car. "Oh, is this that Max you mentioned,
Petunia Petal?" she questioned. "Now, what was that I had to say? Oh, yes." The bunny
continued on. "Somebody is robbing the bank!!!!!"
"Is life always this exciting in Tea Bunny Land, or is it just because we're here?"
Tarquin pondered aloud.
"What perfect timing!" Sam said. "We're here no more than five minutes, and
already a situation arises which is so perfectly suited to our unique aptitudes."
"Ooh! Oh! And I thought this trip was gonna be boring!" Max exclaimed
gleefully. "Sam, is ‘aptitudes' a real word?"
"Iris, Iris, calm down," Rose Bonnet was consoling the blue bunny. "You said the
bank was being robbed, did you?"
"Yes, it is!" Iris Bouquet shrieked. "I was working behind the counter-- like I
always am at this time of day-- and the most awful creature came in, and--" With that, the bunny
staggered forward a step, and promptly fainted.
"Oh, dear," Rose Bonnet lamented, holding the limp body of Iris Bouquet up.
"Petunia, get somebody to do something about the robbery. I shall attend to Iris." Rose Bonnet
swiftly pulled her friend into the shop to revive her.
"Sam and Max, you have to help us," Petunia Petal pleaded.
Sam-- who, along with Max, had been watching the scene before them with
interest-- pulled out a gun. "As duly designated freelance police of whichever town it is we come
from, it's our duty to bust criminals and cause as much property damage as possible, all in the
name of the law!" he said forcefully.
"Yeah, just tell us where this bank is!" Max added.
"Oh, it's right around the corner, here," Petunia Petal said, thoroughly flustered.
She took off running, and Sam and Max followed. All members of the remaining group looked at
"It must be an evil snake reviewer!" He-Man declared.
"Let's not jump to conclusions," Tarquin cautioned.
"It's unfortunate that there aren't any banks in Grundo to rob," Tweeg said
"Wassa bank?" Jar Jar questioned.
"Whatever's going on, I say we follow ‘em," Tabby commanded. And so, the
adventurers continued onwards around the corner, on which sat the Tea Bunny Land National
Just as Tabby and Merry Treat skidded to a halt on the sidewalk, they saw a figure
coming out the front door of the bank, carrying several large money bags. It was a humanoid
figure-- but with green skin and long nose and fingers. She wore her gray hair in a bun atop her
head, and was dressed in a purple robe covered with a yellow shawl.
Sam and Max were just encountering the robber as well. "Drop the dough, or we'll
be forced to use lethal force," Sam called to the villain.
"Please don't drop it," Max added.
"She looks vaguely familiar," Tabby murmured softly as she watched the slim figure
stop and glare at the freelance police.
"No one will use lethal force on Eleanore Tweeg and get away with it," she
declared in a loud, clear voice.
"It's Mommy!" Tweeg cried out, pushing his way to the head of the group.
"Mommy, what are you doing here?"
The bank robber-- who had identified herself as Eleanore Tweeg-- turned around.
"Tweegie, my boy!" she said. "I was wondering when I'd run into you."
"Evil reviewer king!" He-Man exclaimed, drawing his
sword and running towards Eleanore.
"Stop it! Stop it!" Tabby cried, leaping out in front of He-Man (again). "Sam and
Max, you too!" She sensed a kinship between Tweeg and this Eleanore, and no relation of Tweeg
could be all bad.
Eleanore critically eyed this pink unicorn. "I can see this friend of yours can
identify a good villain when she sees one," she commented to Tweeg. "I wonder how
you got to hanging around with her."
"But Mommy, I'm-- I'm--" Tweeg paused. "--I'm going to seek revenge on
somebody! Isn't that a worthy crime?"
"So that's what you're doing," Eleanore sniffed. " ‘Going to seek revenge'. I
stopped by the tower and L.B. told me you'd run off with some pastel-colored ponies and an
assorted bunch of strange creatures. I was following you to see what you were up to this
"But-- aren't your proud of me?" Tweeg pleaded with his mother.
"We'll see what comes of this revenge business," Eleanore rebuffed him. "I saw
this wonderful bank here just waiting to be robbed, and couldn't resist. Now, any proper villain
would have thought of that the minute they got into town." She glanced sharply at her son.
"Looks like we have another family reunion on our hands," Sam said, sticking his
gun away. "Ain't it beautiful?" He wiped a sentimental tear from the corner of his eye.
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna throw-up," Max said in repulsion.
Everyone stared around at everyone else for several moments in silence. No one
really knew what was going on anymore.
"Tweeg, is your mother a villain?" Merry Treat finally spoke-up timidly.
"Not only a villain, but a member of M.A.V.O. as well," Eleanore clarified proudly.
"Well, I'd better be going now. Tweeg, I hope you've done some nasty deeds by the next time I
see you." She turned to walk away... still holding the stolen money.
"Stop, you evil villain!" He-Man cried out, grabbing
onto Eleanore to restrain her. "I believe you haven't returned that money
"Get your hands off me, you-- you--" Eleanore spluttered.
"I believe he falls into the species australopithecus afarensis," Sam said
"Well, you did steal it," Tess said, ignoring Sam's remark.
"And nobody should ever take something from anyone else," Ursa Minor said
Tabby shot a poisonous glance towards the baby bear. "She's probably taken more
than one thing in her life and gotten away with it," she muttered.
"What do I do with her?" He-Man questioned.
Petunia Petal had been fretting ever since she'd led Sam and Max to the scene of
the crime. "As long as you return the money, we won't press charges," she told Eleanore
"Ooh! Ooh!" Tabby squealed. "Eleanore, if you give it back, then you can come
along with us!" She'd taken an instant liking to Tweeg's mother.
"And then you can see how evil I really am," Tweeg added.
"Hmm, that's an interesting proposition," Eleanore considered. "What is it exactly
that you're doing?"
"I think we're seeking revenge on some snake-thing," Whimzee explained, "from
what I've heard."
"No, it's some movie reviewer-guy," Merry Treat corrected.
"All right," Eleanore finally consented. "Here, take the money back." She handed
the bags over to Sam (but not before secretly hiding some of the money bills under her cloak).
"And get this brute to unhand me!"
Sam handed the bags over to Max. "Hang onto this, little buddy; I already have
more money than we'll ever need."
"What, pray tell, am I supposed to do with this?" Max questioned.
"Oh, just put it wherever you put everything else you have," Sam replied.
"There, you are free," He-Man said gallantly, releasing
his hold of Eleanore's shoulders.
Eleanore brushed her cloak off. "There now. That's better," she said, satisfied,
and turned towards Tabby. "I think you have the true makings of a villain in you,
whoever-you-are, even if you are disgustingly-pastel colored."
"You really think so?" Tabby gasped, clutching her front hooves together
dramatically. "Oh, Eleanore, that's the best praise I've received all day!"
"I've given up hope on making anything out of my son here," Eleanore continued,
"but with a bit of training, you might be M.A.V.O material."
"Cool!" Tabby beamed. "The name's Tabby, by the way."
Tarquin rolled his eyes. "Just what she needs," he whispered to Tess, "this
Eleanore training her to be a villain!"
"Tex had better watch out when we get back home," Tess giggled.
"Sheesa looks kinda evil, methinks," Jar Jar said to himself.
"Uhh... welcome to the team, Eleanore," Merry Treat said tentatively. "Don't
forget about the rules, Tabby."
"Ah, yes," Tabby nodded in remembrance. "Just sign this quick," she directed,
thrusting a paper and pen at Eleanore.
Eleanore scanned over the paper and scrawled down her name. Merry Treat wasn't
sure the villain was going to hold up her end of the bargain, but hopefully Tabby knew what she
Right before Tabby was going to stick the paper back in Tarquin's backpack, Sam
spoke up. "Well, I guess we have no choice but to sign up with your demented band as
"And why do you say that?" Max asked.
"That's quite simple," Sam explained. "Since our show got canceled, the critics
obviously didn't like it much. So I think it only makes sense that we accompany these persons on
their quest for revenge."
"As always, your logic is as faulty as a Godzilla movie, but since we have nothing
else to do, why not?" Max agreed.
"You crack me up, little buddy," Sam commented.
Merry Treat smiled at the two, grabbing the paper back from Tabby. "Here it is,"
she said cheerfully. "At least we'll have some police with us now," she added as a side-note to
"Something tells me these aren't your ordinary police," Tarquin predicted.
Petunia Petal stepped up and cleared her throat. "I think I'd better go along as well
if you're going, Max."
"Why?" Max questioned cautiously.
"You need someone to watch over you," Petunia Petal said promptly. "We'll make
a proper Tea Bunny out of you yet, Max."
"I'm scared, Sam!" Max cried out in terror.
"Buck-up, Sam-- I mean, Max," Sam reassured him. "It can't be any worse than
that time you got disintegrated on the moon by giant cockroaches."
"I was just managing to forget about that," Max complained with a smile.
Anyway, with four more on the team (even if some of them still held reservations
towards Eleanore Tweeg), they all walked along merrily towards the bakery Rose Bonnet directed
them to in order to get their long-awaited treats. Rose Bonnet and Iris Bouquet (who was feeling
herself again after the scare of the robbery) waved as their friend, Petunia Petal, and the rest of
the group disappeared down the street.
After Sweet Azalea's bakery had nearly been emptied of all her cakes, cookies, and
other fancy confections, everyone finally had their fill. Tabby was impatient to move on, as
always. "Let's get going," she urged.
"Thanks for putting up with us, all of you Tea Bunnies," Whimzee said, not
forgetting her manners.
"All in a day's work," Sweet Azalea laughed.
And, as all chapters in this story end, the group once again set off.
To be continued...
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