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The Insane Crossover Story Chapter One


"Once we find him, I'm going to moon-dust him!" Merry Treat exclaimed angrily.
"And I'll whack him over the head," Tabby said, just as menacingly as her companion.
"Plus some scratches to the face," Tarquin added.
"I'll help on that!" Tess supplied.
"Spear, spearow!" Spearow agreed.
These two ponies and their Pokèmon were currently on a quest-- a quest to seek revenge on "some jerk of a movie reviewer" (as Tabby referred to him). Or, if not seek revenge, at least insult him really bad.
How did this quest thing start? Tabby and Merry Treat had been looking at Spike's CD of movie reviews the other night, and the reviewer was some sort of a jerk-- Tabby's terminology was right. What angered the two ponies the most was what he'd said about the My Little Pony movie-- the reviewer claimed it was "too cute for anyone over seven".
Therefore, Merry Treat and Tabby set off to gather up a proper team to go out and find this movie reviewer. Of course, they couldn't leave behind their faithful Pokèmon. Tabby's Meowth, Tarquin, was always with her. Concealed within their PokèBalls, she also had a Jigglypuff and an Oddish.
Merry Treat had quite a few Pokèmon, but the two always out of their PokèBalls were Tess, another Meowth, and her Spearow. Among her others were Vulpix, Kittyhawk, and another Jigglypuff.
Anyway, though they really had no idea what they were doing, they'd jumped in a small boat and rowed their way down the river in Dream Valley. The questers had reached open water by this point, and were beginning to wonder where they were. The only thing driving them on was to seek revenge on that jerk they so despised.
"Rowing is an exhausting job," Tess sighed, momentarily putting down her oars.
"I'll take over for you," Tarquin said valiantly. He could never pass up the chance to do a favor for Tess.
"It is terribly exhausting," Tabby agreed whole-heartedly.
"Spearow," Spearow said skeptically.
"He just said you've only spent five minutes rowing so far on this journey," Merry Treat translated. "And I think it's true."
"It was much longer than five minutes," Tabby argued. "Several hours, I'd say."
"Spear," Spearow sighed.
"Tarquin, look!" Tess suddenly exclaimed. "I believe there's land up ahead!"
Everyone on board looked in the direction Tess was pointing. "It's probably a mirage," Tabby said, pessimist that she was.
"Spearow, spear, spear!" Spearow hopped about the floor of the boat excitedly.
"I think it's land, too, Spearow!" Merry Treat said happily. "Maybe we'll be able to find someone to join our team there."
"Can anyone help me out with the rowing, so we'll get their sometime within the next century?" Tarquin sighed.
* * *
"There're mountains," Tabby noted.
The group stared up at the craggy gray mountains. They'd actually managed to get their boat to shore. Now, after walking up the short expanse of beach, they'd reached mountains.
"This isn't helping us get any closer to that movie reviewer," Merry Treat sighed.
"And we're not going to get any closer if we don't look around," Tarquin said in exasperation.
"But there's nothing to look at," Tabby said dramatically.
"What about that pass through the mountains?" Tarquin demanded.
"You're so clever in finding things, Tarquin," Tess giggled.
"How in the world could we have missed that?!" Merry Treat exclaimed.
Yes, it appeared that the two ponies had forgotten to look directly ahead of them; instead, their gazes had swerved over to the side. Straight ahead was a nice, handy pass through the mountains. They could even see a lush green meadow on the other side.
"Spearow!" Spearow squawked.
Merry Treat looked at Tarquin and Tess sheepishly. "I'll be more observant next time," she promised.
"Come on, come one, let's get going!" Tabby exclaimed, tapping her hoof on the ground.
Walking through the narrow pass with steep mountains on either side, the two ponies and their Pokèmon felt rather nervous.
"I think someone's watching us," Tess said in a low tone.
"No one would dare mess with me." Tarquin shot out his claws in demonstration.
"I believe we'll be kidnapped by monsters and never seen again," Tabby commented.
"We're totally unstoppable," Merry Treat declared. "Tarquin's right. No one would dare mess with us."
"Spear," said Spearow in apprehension.
"Oh, boy! There's the meadow up ahead!" Tabby cried out gleefully, and dashed ahead of the others.
"Tabby, be sure not to walk into a trap," Merry Treat warned her friend, running to catch up.
"There won't be any traps," Tabby said cheerfully, stepping onto the soft, green grass. Her eyes suddenly opened wide, and she clamped her mouth shut. "That wasn't meant to sound optimistic," she corrected herself quickly.
Tarquin rolled his eyes, but Tess was fascinated with the peaceful scenery. "Let's stop here for lunch," she suggested.
"Did we remember to bring grape juice?" Tabby asked suddenly. "I would simply fade away without that wonderful grape juice from Aldi's."
"Grape juice, and chicken, and cherry pie filling, and lots more." Tarquin ticked off the list on his paws.
Tess began pulling items out of her backpack. "This is such a nice place," she sighed contentedly. "It reminds me of my old home."
"Look!" Tabby exclaimed suddenly. "Gooseberry bushes! Wonderful gooseberry bushes!" She clutched her front hooves together dramatically, as she was prone to do. "Of course, gooseberries aren't as good as grape juice," she added quickly.
"Would you pick some, Merry Treat and Tabby?" Tess implored. "Gooseberries would be a nice side-dish to lunch."
"I would love to pick gooseberries," Tabby declared, still clutching her hooves together.
"Snap out of it," Merry Treat instructed, walking over to the bushes. "You can't pick with your hooves in that position."
"I suppose you're right," Tabby sighed, and resumed her regular stance. She started plucking the green berries off a bush far to the left of where Merry Treat was working. "And gooseberry juice doesn't stain," she remarked to no one in particular.
After a minute or so, Tabby was already tired of picking. She idly glanced up over the top of the leafy bush and nearly had a heart-attack at the sight that met her eyes. Abruptly jumping back, she knocked into Tarquin, who was helping Tess pour grape juice for everyone.
Tarquin tumbled over and dropped the bottle of juice to the ground; its contents immediately started seeping into the earth. "I got a stain on my paw," he said in regret. "Tabby, what happened?"
"THERE IS A HUGE CENTEPIDEY-TYPE BUG OVER THERE AND IT'S UGLY AND I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!" Tabby screamed at the top of her lungs.
After the initial shock of Tabby's scream had worn off the remaining four in the group, and they had all re-gained their hearing, Merry Treat approached the irate unicorn. She's probably just overreacting... again, she thought to herself. Still, Merry Treat didn't like the thought of a bug. "You're sure it's not a Pokèmon?" she asked cautiously.
"Of course not! I wouldn't mistake a Catterpie for that... thing. And the grape juice spilled, on top of it all," Tabby muttered. She paused in silence for a moment. "A Pokèmon!" she cried out suddenly. "What if it's a new, undiscovered kind?!?!"
Merry Treat, Tabby, Tess, Spearow, and Tarquin all hurried to the bushes at Tabby's last statement. A new Pokèmon would be a rather wonderful find.
"You might be right," Merry Treat breathed, peering through the leaves of the gooseberry bush. It was a rather large orange bug-like creature, with a long body and standing on six legs.
"Does it know we're here? We've got to capture it!" Tabby hissed.
"After the screaming you did, I'm not sure it's possible for it not to have heard you," Tarquin commented.
This new creature was still several yards away, but looking around cautiously. It had obviously been alerted to the group's presence.
"We've got to act fast," Tabby directed. "What type of Pokèmon do you suppose it is?"
"It could be grass-type, or maybe colorless," Merry Treat pondered.
"Let's go with fighting-type," Tabby decided. "Now, most fighting Pokèmon are weak to psychic... do we have any psychic guys?"
Everyone shook their head.
"But bird Pokèmon are resistant to fighting!" Tabby exclaimed brightly. "Merry Treat, send Spearow at him!"
Spearow eyed the orange bug-type creature with interested eyes. "Spearow!"
"It's so bug-looking; Spearow might eat it. We can't take that chance," Merry Treat declared.
"We've got to do something quick!" Tabby said in despair. "It'll find us soon, and who knows what kind of damage it'll do?!"
Tess slid closer to Tarquin.
Merry Treat gulped. "It's walking towards us."
"Tarquin, you're our only chance," Tabby said abruptly, picking Tarquin up in her hooves. "You may be weak to fighting, but you're our only chance. Get out there and scratch the thing!" The persuasive pink unicorn began to push her Meowth through the bushes.
"Be careful, Tarquin!" Tess whimpered.
"Okay, get ready for a match," Tarquin challenged this new creature, and held his claws up menacingly.
The orange bug took a few bewildered steps back. "Teddy didn't say anything about matches when we came out today," it said slowly.
"IT TALKS!!" Tabby shrieked from behind the bushes.
"Don't make noise!" Merry Treat warned, leaning further into the bushes. "Maybe I should send out one of my Pokèmon. That bug might be too much for Tarquin to take out."
"Grubby, are you talking to someone over here?" Another figure appeared on the scene...
Tabby abruptly jumped-- again. This time, she caused Merry Treat to topple over into the bushes. Of course, Tabby wasn't stopped yet. "IT'S A TEDDY BEAR!!!" she screamed-- again-- at the top of her lungs.
"Oh, man." Merry Treat scrambled to stand up again after falling through the bush. "What have we gotten ourselves into?"
Tabby boldly marched forward, and Merry Treat joined her. "How dare you intrude on a Pokèmon match?!" Tabby demanded of the bear. "That bug there is a new kind, and we're going to catch it and become famous!"
"It... is a Pokèmon, isn't it?" Merry Treat asked warily.
The bear laughed. "Oh, no, not at all! That's my friend Grubby. He's an Octopede." The light brown bear himself was dressed in a red shirt and shorts, with a tan vest.
"He's not a Pokèmon?" Tabby echoed in regret.
Merry Treat blushed, and turned to the Octopede. "We're very sorry about the match thing," she said quickly. "No hard feelings meant."
"We'll get other chances at finding new Pokèmon," Tarquin said encouraging to Tabby.
"Yeah," Tabby sighed, but then regained her boldness. "And who, may I ask, are you?" she questioned the bear.
"I'm Teddy Ruxpin," the bear said brightly. "And I'm actually an Illiop, not a teddy bear."
"I never did care for teddy bears," Tabby said in approval. "Illiop really has much more class than ‘teddy bear', wot?"
Tess giggled happily. "I'm very glad to have met you two," she said graciously to Grubby and Teddy. "To be running into Octopedes and Illiops, I suppose we're not in Ponyland anymore?"
"We're in Gimmick's valley," Grubby said, after a pause.
"Which is in the land of Grundo," Teddy added.
"Enough with the introductions," Tabby said briskly. "Merry Treat n' I n' Tarquin n' Tess n' Spearow are on a quest--"
"We're on a quest to seek revenge on an evil movie reviewer," Merry Treat explained.
"Want to join us?" Tarquin asked brightly.
"It's bound to be very exciting," Tess added.
"Row!" Spearow agreed.
"I just broke the spring out of a clothespin," Tabby said to no one in particular. She had been fiddling around with items in her backpack.
"Stop fiddling," Merry Treat chided. "Grubby and Teddy, do you know of any movie reviewers in these parts?"
"Nope." Grubby shook his head. "There aren't any on the MAVO team."
"Why won't that spring go back?" Tabby muttered.
"And we'd love to assist you on your journey, but we're helping Gimmick on a new invention," Teddy said apologetically.
"Stupid contraption." Tabby tossed the clothespin and spring back into her backpack in disgust.
"I suppose we'd better pack up and head on our way," Tess noted. "I'd be delighted to chat some more, but we're all anxious to get this quest out of the way."
"No problem," Grubby said. "Maybe you can stop in again some time."
"Gimmick's house is just beyond those tress there," Teddy explained, pointing.
"We'll be sure to do that!" Tabby said brightly. "Ah! I think I just lost that spring!"
And, on that note, the two ponies and their Pokèmon departed from the Octopede and Illiop. Though they'd made two more friends, they still didn't have any more members for their team.
* * *
"EEEK! What are those?" Tabby shrieked.
"Some sort of creature," Tarquin noted.
"Coming towards us!" Merry Treat added.
The group was back in the mountainous terrain. And now, right up ahead, was a pack of small, menacing-looking creatures; they had round, red bodies and were hopping towards these strangers in their land.
"They look sorta like Jigglypuffs, only different," Tabby said cheerfully. "These have tails, and a bit longer legs, and a horn sticking out of their heads, and darker bodies, and meaner eyes--" She swallowed hard as the creatures surrounded the group. "All right, maybe they're not like Jigglypuffs."
"Shall we fight back?" Tess questioned in a whisper.
"Let's see what they do with us," Tabby suggested. "Maybe we'll get somewhere faster by escaping from them, as opposed to wandering aimlessly."
Merry Treat rolled her eyes at Tabby's logic. "They might not even mean ill will towards us," she said optimistically.
"Okay, Jigglypuff-type things, why have you surrounded us?" Tabby demanded of the creatures.
One of the more dignified-looking red... things... stepped closer to Tabby. "Tweez has instructed that we bring you to his tower," it hissed.
"Thanks for clearing that up," Merry Treat muttered.
"Will we have decent lodgings?" Tarquin demanded.
"And grape juice. Is there grape juice at this tower?" Tabby questioned.
"We'll see what Tweep decides to do with you," the leader said. "Now, follow us."
"Excuse me!" Tabby interrupted. "Can you tell us what kind of creatures you are? I may need it for future reference. Writing stories and such, you know."
Merry Treat and Tarquin both looked at each other. Tabby could be concerned about the strangest things.
The leader of the creatures looked at Tabby strangely as well. "We're Bounders," he muttered.
"Thanks." Tabby cheerfully followed the Bounders, wherever they may lead her... and the rest of the group.
Over the rocky ground they went. Where they would end up next, who knew...
* * *
"Wow!" Tabby exclaimed in delight. "What a beautiful tower!"
"It's-- it's--" Tess stuttered, at a loss for words.
"It's dark and depressing," Merry Treat interrupted.
Leading them to the base of the gray stone tower, one of the Bounders opened the door leading inside. The rest of the gang gathered in on the ponies and Pokèmon, forcing the travelers inside.
"So, where's this guy who wants to see us?" Tarquin demanded.
"If he touches one feather or fur on any of our Pokèmon, he's getting moon-dusted!" Merry Treat exclaimed angrily.
At that moment, a tall, slim figure entered the room through one of the dark archways. Most of the creature was covered in a dark purple robe, but his pointed green head was visible.
"These are the trespassers you reported, L.B.?" the figure addressed the head Bounder.
"Yep, Twig."
Twig-- or whatever his name was-- began to turn to Merry Treat and Tabby, but abruptly turned back to the Bounder. "And my name is Tweeg!" he exclaimed shrilly.
L.B. the Bounder turned away from Tweeg and chuckled silently.
"What do you want with us, sir?" Merry Treat asked bluntly.
"To keep you as prisoners, of course!" Tweeg explained.
Tabby stepped forward. "Look, Mr. Tweeg, all we were doing is going on a quest! I don't see how that affects you any." She sniffed.
"That what they all say!" Tweeg exclaimed. "But I know you were out to steal my recipe for gold!"
"Gold!" Tabby said loftily. "Merry Treat and I both make enough money at our jobs. We don't need gold."
Merry Treat stared around at the large black pot in the room, and the bread-like biscuits piled up around it. "Gold?" She lifted an eyebrow.
"The next batch will come out right," Tweeg muttered angrily.
Tess hopped up onto a stool in front of a book stand. She ran a paw over a page in the open book sitting on the stand. "Is this the recipe, sir?" she asked politely.
"Really? Lemme see!" Tabby dashed over to see for herself.
"Uhh, Tabby..." Merry Treat glanced cautiously over at Tweeg.
"Don't look at that!" Tweeg shrieked.
"Hmm... buttermilk..." Tabby murmured to herself, glancing over the page and paying no attention to the furious Tweeg.
"To the dungeons you go!" Tweeg exclaimed, slamming the book shut.
"What I really think you need in the recipe," Tabby prattled on to Tweeg, "is cherry pie filling."
Tweeg was stunned for a moment. "Cherry pie filling?" he echoed, and then his eyes lit up. "Of course! Cherry pie filling! Exactly the thing it needs!"
"Right. One can should suffice," Tabby continued. "And maybe adjust the cooking time a bit. Then you should end up with gold..."
"Wait a minute! Let me write this down!" Tweeg scribbled furiously on a paper. "It's a wonder I didn't come up with this myself."
"I might even help you mix up a batch sometime," Tabby offered.
"I don't like to think of what might happen with Tabby in the kitchen," Merry Treat whispered to Tarquin.
"The way Tabby throws recipes together, she might be the one to discover how to make gold," Tarquin whispered back. They both giggled quietly.
"Uh-huh. I think that should work," Tabby finished dictating to Tweeg.
"Oh, my, this is wonderful!" Tweeg cried out joyfully.
"No problem," Tabby said proudly.
"I must mix up a new batch right away," Tweeg said happily. "How long will you be in the area? You certainly must be an excellent baker to have come up with the missing ingredient."
"Merry Treat and I are on a tight schedule," Tabby explained quickly. "We're out to seek revenge on an evil movie reviewer."
"Are you letting us go free?" Merry Treat asked anxiously.
"Hmm... a movie reviewer..." Tweeg appeared to be deep in thought for a minute or two. "Would you mind if I joined you on your quest?"
Merry Treat and Tabby look doubtful, but Tabby said graciously, "Yes, come along! You'll make a resourceful member to the team." She was rather getting to like this alchemist.
Tess giggled happily. "We'll be glad to have you, Tweeg."
"Spearow!" Spearow said in agreement.
"I never have liked movie reviewers," Tweeg muttered. "One tried to steal my recipe for gold once."
"Perhaps it's the same one we're after," Tarquin said thoughtfully.
"Let's get moving!" Tabby said briskly, motioning towards the door. Tarquin jumped up on her back.
Tweeg grabbed up his recipe book. "L.B., be sure to pick up all those cannonballs while I'm gone," he quickly instructed the Bounder.
"Sure thing, Twug."
"That's Tweeg, L.B.!"
And so, Tabby, Merry Treat, Tess, Tarquin, Spearow, and Tweeg headed onwards to face more adventures, still unknown to them...

To be continued...


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