The Insane Crossover Story Chapter One
"Once we find him, I'm going to moon-dust him!" Merry Treat exclaimed
"And I'll whack him over the head," Tabby said, just as menacingly as her
"Plus some scratches to the face," Tarquin added.
"I'll help on that!" Tess supplied.
"Spear, spearow!" Spearow agreed.
These two ponies and their Pokèmon were currently on a quest-- a quest to
seek revenge on "some jerk of a movie reviewer" (as Tabby referred to him). Or, if not
seek revenge, at least insult him really bad.
How did this quest thing start? Tabby and Merry Treat had been looking at
Spike's CD of movie reviews the other night, and the reviewer was some sort of a
jerk-- Tabby's terminology was right. What angered the two ponies the most was what
he'd said about the My Little Pony movie-- the reviewer claimed it was "too cute for
anyone over seven".
Therefore, Merry Treat and Tabby set off to gather up a proper team to go
out and find this movie reviewer. Of course, they couldn't leave behind their faithful
Pokèmon. Tabby's Meowth, Tarquin, was always with her. Concealed within their
PokèBalls, she also had a Jigglypuff and an Oddish.
Merry Treat had quite a few Pokèmon, but the two always out of their
PokèBalls were Tess, another Meowth, and her Spearow. Among her others were Vulpix,
Kittyhawk, and another Jigglypuff.
Anyway, though they really had no idea what they were doing, they'd
jumped in a small boat and rowed their way down the river in Dream Valley. The questers
had reached open water by this point, and were beginning to wonder where they were.
The only thing driving them on was to seek revenge on that jerk they so despised.
"Rowing is an exhausting job," Tess sighed, momentarily putting down her
"I'll take over for you," Tarquin said valiantly. He could never pass up the
chance to do a favor for Tess.
"It is terribly exhausting," Tabby agreed whole-heartedly.
"Spearow," Spearow said skeptically.
"He just said you've only spent five minutes rowing so far on this journey,"
Merry Treat translated. "And I think it's true."
"It was much longer than five minutes," Tabby argued. "Several hours, I'd
"Spear," Spearow sighed.
"Tarquin, look!" Tess suddenly exclaimed. "I believe there's land up
Everyone on board looked in the direction Tess was pointing. "It's
probably a mirage," Tabby said, pessimist that she was.
"Spearow, spear, spear!" Spearow hopped about the floor of the boat
"I think it's land, too, Spearow!" Merry Treat said happily. "Maybe we'll
be able to find someone to join our team there."
"Can anyone help me out with the rowing, so we'll get their sometime
within the next century?" Tarquin sighed.
* * *
"There're mountains," Tabby noted.
The group stared up at the craggy gray mountains. They'd actually
managed to get their boat to shore. Now, after walking up the short expanse of beach,
they'd reached mountains.
"This isn't helping us get any closer to that movie reviewer," Merry Treat
"And we're not going to get any closer if we don't look around," Tarquin
said in exasperation.
"But there's nothing to look at," Tabby said dramatically.
"What about that pass through the mountains?" Tarquin demanded.
"You're so clever in finding things, Tarquin," Tess giggled.
"How in the world could we have missed that?!" Merry Treat
Yes, it appeared that the two ponies had forgotten to look directly ahead of
them; instead, their gazes had swerved over to the side. Straight ahead was a nice, handy
pass through the mountains. They could even see a lush green meadow on the other
"Spearow!" Spearow squawked.
Merry Treat looked at Tarquin and Tess sheepishly. "I'll be more observant
next time," she promised.
"Come on, come one, let's get going!" Tabby exclaimed, tapping her hoof
on the ground.
Walking through the narrow pass with steep mountains on either side, the
two ponies and their Pokèmon felt rather nervous.
"I think someone's watching us," Tess said in a low tone.
"No one would dare mess with me." Tarquin shot out his claws in
"I believe we'll be kidnapped by monsters and never seen again," Tabby
"We're totally unstoppable," Merry Treat declared. "Tarquin's right. No
one would dare mess with us."
"Spear," said Spearow in apprehension.
"Oh, boy! There's the meadow up ahead!" Tabby cried out gleefully, and
dashed ahead of the others.
"Tabby, be sure not to walk into a trap," Merry Treat warned her friend,
running to catch up.
"There won't be any traps," Tabby said cheerfully, stepping onto the soft,
green grass. Her eyes suddenly opened wide, and she clamped her mouth shut. "That
wasn't meant to sound optimistic," she corrected herself quickly.
Tarquin rolled his eyes, but Tess was fascinated with the peaceful scenery.
"Let's stop here for lunch," she suggested.
"Did we remember to bring grape juice?" Tabby asked suddenly. "I would
simply fade away without that wonderful grape juice from Aldi's."
"Grape juice, and chicken, and cherry pie filling, and lots more." Tarquin
ticked off the list on his paws.
Tess began pulling items out of her backpack. "This is such a nice place,"
she sighed contentedly. "It reminds me of my old home."
"Look!" Tabby exclaimed suddenly. "Gooseberry bushes! Wonderful
gooseberry bushes!" She clutched her front hooves together dramatically, as she was
prone to do. "Of course, gooseberries aren't as good as grape juice," she added
"Would you pick some, Merry Treat and Tabby?" Tess implored.
"Gooseberries would be a nice side-dish to lunch."
"I would love to pick gooseberries," Tabby declared, still clutching her
"Snap out of it," Merry Treat instructed, walking over to the bushes. "You
can't pick with your hooves in that position."
"I suppose you're right," Tabby sighed, and resumed her regular stance.
She started plucking the green berries off a bush far to the left of where Merry Treat was
working. "And gooseberry juice doesn't stain," she remarked to no one in
After a minute or so, Tabby was already tired of picking. She idly glanced
up over the top of the leafy bush and nearly had a heart-attack at the sight that met her
eyes. Abruptly jumping back, she knocked into Tarquin, who was helping Tess pour
grape juice for everyone.
Tarquin tumbled over and dropped the bottle of juice to the ground; its
contents immediately started seeping into the earth. "I got a stain on my paw," he said in
regret. "Tabby, what happened?"
"THERE IS A HUGE CENTEPIDEY-TYPE BUG OVER THERE AND
IT'S UGLY AND I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!" Tabby screamed at the top of her
After the initial shock of Tabby's scream had worn off the remaining four in
the group, and they had all re-gained their hearing, Merry Treat approached the irate
unicorn. She's probably just overreacting... again, she thought to herself. Still,
Merry Treat didn't like the thought of a bug. "You're sure it's not a Pokèmon?" she
"Of course not! I wouldn't mistake a Catterpie for that... thing. And the
grape juice spilled, on top of it all," Tabby muttered. She paused in silence for a moment.
"A Pokèmon!" she cried out suddenly. "What if it's a new, undiscovered
Merry Treat, Tabby, Tess, Spearow, and Tarquin all hurried to the bushes at
Tabby's last statement. A new Pokèmon would be a rather wonderful find.
"You might be right," Merry Treat breathed, peering through the leaves of the gooseberry
bush. It was a rather large orange bug-like creature, with a long body and standing on six
"Does it know we're here? We've got to capture it!" Tabby hissed.
"After the screaming you did, I'm not sure it's possible for it not to have
heard you," Tarquin commented.
This new creature was still several yards away, but looking around
cautiously. It had obviously been alerted to the group's presence.
"We've got to act fast," Tabby directed. "What type of Pokèmon do you
suppose it is?"
"It could be grass-type, or maybe colorless," Merry Treat
"Let's go with fighting-type," Tabby decided. "Now, most fighting
Pokèmon are weak to psychic... do we have any psychic guys?"
Everyone shook their head.
"But bird Pokèmon are resistant to fighting!" Tabby exclaimed brightly.
"Merry Treat, send Spearow at him!"
Spearow eyed the orange bug-type creature with interested eyes.
"It's so bug-looking; Spearow might eat it. We can't take that chance,"
Merry Treat declared.
"We've got to do something quick!" Tabby said in despair. "It'll find us
soon, and who knows what kind of damage it'll do?!"
Tess slid closer to Tarquin.
Merry Treat gulped. "It's walking towards us."
"Tarquin, you're our only chance," Tabby said abruptly, picking Tarquin up
in her hooves. "You may be weak to fighting, but you're our only chance. Get out there
and scratch the thing!" The persuasive pink unicorn began to push her Meowth through
"Be careful, Tarquin!" Tess whimpered.
"Okay, get ready for a match," Tarquin challenged this new creature, and
held his claws up menacingly.
The orange bug took a few bewildered steps back. "Teddy didn't say
anything about matches when we came out today," it said slowly.
"IT TALKS!!" Tabby shrieked from behind the bushes.
"Don't make noise!" Merry Treat warned, leaning further into the bushes.
"Maybe I should send out one of my Pokèmon. That bug might be too much for Tarquin
to take out."
"Grubby, are you talking to someone over here?" Another figure appeared
on the scene...
Tabby abruptly jumped-- again. This time, she caused Merry Treat to
topple over into the bushes. Of course, Tabby wasn't stopped yet. "IT'S A TEDDY
BEAR!!!" she screamed-- again-- at the top of her lungs.
"Oh, man." Merry Treat scrambled to stand up again after falling through
the bush. "What have we gotten ourselves into?"
Tabby boldly marched forward, and Merry Treat joined her. "How dare
you intrude on a Pokèmon match?!" Tabby demanded of the bear. "That bug there is a
new kind, and we're going to catch it and become famous!"
"It... is a Pokèmon, isn't it?" Merry Treat asked warily.
The bear laughed. "Oh, no, not at all! That's my friend Grubby. He's an
Octopede." The light brown bear himself was dressed in a red shirt and shorts, with a tan
"He's not a Pokèmon?" Tabby echoed in regret.
Merry Treat blushed, and turned to the Octopede. "We're very sorry about
the match thing," she said quickly. "No hard feelings meant."
"We'll get other chances at finding new Pokèmon," Tarquin said
encouraging to Tabby.
"Yeah," Tabby sighed, but then regained her boldness. "And who, may I
ask, are you?" she questioned the bear.
"I'm Teddy Ruxpin," the bear said brightly. "And I'm actually an Illiop, not
a teddy bear."
"I never did care for teddy bears," Tabby said in approval. "Illiop really has
much more class than ‘teddy bear', wot?"
Tess giggled happily. "I'm very glad to have met you two," she said
graciously to Grubby and Teddy. "To be running into Octopedes and Illiops, I suppose
we're not in Ponyland anymore?"
"We're in Gimmick's valley," Grubby said, after a pause.
"Which is in the land of Grundo," Teddy added.
"Enough with the introductions," Tabby said briskly. "Merry Treat n' I n'
Tarquin n' Tess n' Spearow are on a quest--"
"We're on a quest to seek revenge on an evil movie reviewer," Merry Treat
"Want to join us?" Tarquin asked brightly.
"It's bound to be very exciting," Tess added.
"Row!" Spearow agreed.
"I just broke the spring out of a clothespin," Tabby said to no one in
particular. She had been fiddling around with items in her backpack.
"Stop fiddling," Merry Treat chided. "Grubby and Teddy, do you know of
any movie reviewers in these parts?"
"Nope." Grubby shook his head. "There aren't any on the MAVO
"Why won't that spring go back?" Tabby muttered.
"And we'd love to assist you on your journey, but we're helping Gimmick
on a new invention," Teddy said apologetically.
"Stupid contraption." Tabby tossed the clothespin and spring back into her
backpack in disgust.
"I suppose we'd better pack up and head on our way," Tess noted. "I'd be
delighted to chat some more, but we're all anxious to get this quest out of the
"No problem," Grubby said. "Maybe you can stop in again some
"Gimmick's house is just beyond those tress there," Teddy explained,
"We'll be sure to do that!" Tabby said brightly. "Ah! I think I just lost that
And, on that note, the two ponies and their Pokèmon departed from the
Octopede and Illiop. Though they'd made two more friends, they still didn't have any
more members for their team.
* * *
"EEEK! What are those?" Tabby shrieked.
"Some sort of creature," Tarquin noted.
"Coming towards us!" Merry Treat added.
The group was back in the mountainous terrain. And now, right up ahead,
was a pack of small, menacing-looking creatures; they had round, red bodies and were
hopping towards these strangers in their land.
"They look sorta like Jigglypuffs, only different," Tabby said cheerfully.
"These have tails, and a bit longer legs, and a horn sticking out of their heads, and darker
bodies, and meaner eyes--" She swallowed hard as the creatures surrounded the group.
"All right, maybe they're not like Jigglypuffs."
"Shall we fight back?" Tess questioned in a whisper.
"Let's see what they do with us," Tabby suggested. "Maybe we'll get
somewhere faster by escaping from them, as opposed to wandering aimlessly."
Merry Treat rolled her eyes at Tabby's logic. "They might not even mean ill
will towards us," she said optimistically.
"Okay, Jigglypuff-type things, why have you surrounded us?" Tabby
demanded of the creatures.
One of the more dignified-looking red... things... stepped closer to Tabby.
"Tweez has instructed that we bring you to his tower," it hissed.
"Thanks for clearing that up," Merry Treat muttered.
"Will we have decent lodgings?" Tarquin demanded.
"And grape juice. Is there grape juice at this tower?" Tabby
"We'll see what Tweep decides to do with you," the leader said. "Now,
"Excuse me!" Tabby interrupted. "Can you tell us what kind of creatures
you are? I may need it for future reference. Writing stories and such, you know."
Merry Treat and Tarquin both looked at each other. Tabby could be
concerned about the strangest things.
The leader of the creatures looked at Tabby strangely as well. "We're
Bounders," he muttered.
"Thanks." Tabby cheerfully followed the Bounders, wherever they may
lead her... and the rest of the group.
Over the rocky ground they went. Where they would end up next, who
* * *
"Wow!" Tabby exclaimed in delight. "What a beautiful tower!"
"It's-- it's--" Tess stuttered, at a loss for words.
"It's dark and depressing," Merry Treat interrupted.
Leading them to the base of the gray stone tower, one of the Bounders
opened the door leading inside. The rest of the gang gathered in on the ponies and
Pokèmon, forcing the travelers inside.
"So, where's this guy who wants to see us?" Tarquin demanded.
"If he touches one feather or fur on any of our Pokèmon, he's getting
moon-dusted!" Merry Treat exclaimed angrily.
At that moment, a tall, slim figure entered the room through one of the dark
archways. Most of the creature was covered in a dark purple robe, but his pointed green
head was visible.
"These are the trespassers you reported, L.B.?" the figure addressed the
Twig-- or whatever his name was-- began to turn to Merry Treat and
Tabby, but abruptly turned back to the Bounder. "And my name is Tweeg!" he exclaimed
L.B. the Bounder turned away from Tweeg and chuckled silently.
"What do you want with us, sir?" Merry Treat asked bluntly.
"To keep you as prisoners, of course!" Tweeg explained.
Tabby stepped forward. "Look, Mr. Tweeg, all we were doing is going on
a quest! I don't see how that affects you any." She sniffed.
"That what they all say!" Tweeg exclaimed. "But I know you were out to
steal my recipe for gold!"
"Gold!" Tabby said loftily. "Merry Treat and I both make enough money at
our jobs. We don't need gold."
Merry Treat stared around at the large black pot in the room, and the bread-like biscuits
piled up around it. "Gold?" She lifted an eyebrow.
"The next batch will come out right," Tweeg muttered angrily.
Tess hopped up onto a stool in front of a book stand. She ran a paw over a
page in the open book sitting on the stand. "Is this the recipe, sir?" she asked
"Really? Lemme see!" Tabby dashed over to see for herself.
"Uhh, Tabby..." Merry Treat glanced cautiously over at Tweeg.
"Don't look at that!" Tweeg shrieked.
"Hmm... buttermilk..." Tabby murmured to herself, glancing over the page
and paying no attention to the furious Tweeg.
"To the dungeons you go!" Tweeg exclaimed, slamming the book
"What I really think you need in the recipe," Tabby prattled on to Tweeg,
"is cherry pie filling."
Tweeg was stunned for a moment. "Cherry pie filling?" he echoed, and
then his eyes lit up. "Of course! Cherry pie filling! Exactly the thing it needs!"
"Right. One can should suffice," Tabby continued. "And maybe adjust the
cooking time a bit. Then you should end up with gold..."
"Wait a minute! Let me write this down!" Tweeg scribbled furiously on a
paper. "It's a wonder I didn't come up with this myself."
"I might even help you mix up a batch sometime," Tabby offered.
"I don't like to think of what might happen with Tabby in the kitchen,"
Merry Treat whispered to Tarquin.
"The way Tabby throws recipes together, she might be the one to discover
how to make gold," Tarquin whispered back. They both giggled quietly.
"Uh-huh. I think that should work," Tabby finished dictating to
"Oh, my, this is wonderful!" Tweeg cried out joyfully.
"No problem," Tabby said proudly.
"I must mix up a new batch right away," Tweeg said happily. "How long
will you be in the area? You certainly must be an excellent baker to have come up with
the missing ingredient."
"Merry Treat and I are on a tight schedule," Tabby explained quickly.
"We're out to seek revenge on an evil movie reviewer."
"Are you letting us go free?" Merry Treat asked anxiously.
"Hmm... a movie reviewer..." Tweeg appeared to be deep in thought for a
minute or two. "Would you mind if I joined you on your quest?"
Merry Treat and Tabby look doubtful, but Tabby said graciously, "Yes,
come along! You'll make a resourceful member to the team." She was rather getting to
like this alchemist.
Tess giggled happily. "We'll be glad to have you, Tweeg."
"Spearow!" Spearow said in agreement.
"I never have liked movie reviewers," Tweeg muttered. "One tried to steal
my recipe for gold once."
"Perhaps it's the same one we're after," Tarquin said thoughtfully.
"Let's get moving!" Tabby said briskly, motioning towards the door.
Tarquin jumped up on her back.
Tweeg grabbed up his recipe book. "L.B., be sure to pick up all those
cannonballs while I'm gone," he quickly instructed the Bounder.
"Sure thing, Twug."
"That's Tweeg, L.B.!"
And so, Tabby, Merry Treat, Tess, Tarquin, Spearow, and Tweeg headed
onwards to face more adventures, still unknown to them...
To be continued...
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